The last few months, every day has been fight between me, within me. Suddenly I felt shambled and my world was constricted. No one to be blamed, I think thats how the transition was meant to happen. So, here there are a couple of things not working out well and here I am all gloomy and feeling low. Unlike the other times, nothing warms me or makes me happy.
To put it simply tables turned when finally, I decided that it was all my doing. I had stopped looking around, I had chosen to be morose. What a 'Revelation' issinit?!
So, to come out of the morose feeling, action! action! action! In the last few weeks I have been busy scripting, directing, shooting and editing a short film. Why I choose to divide and write these actions of making a movie into several different parts is cause for lots of people just 'shooting a movie' does not give a clear picture of what goes into making one.
It was good, it was bad :) and I think I am the happiest to declare that. Elated, after the first few conceptualization stages, I thought I had a clear idea of what was required. Slowly, there was a mix of hands and delegation and volunteering. Meanwhile, i had some Good time. Laughed and laughed and laughed so much after a long time. Discovered some most interesting and nice people. Some irritating ones too :)
Danced on teen maar, did the 'bandariya dance along with a bandar' :) Somewhere slowly insensitivity crept in, slowly I realized inflated ego could much harm to some relationships than I had ever imagined. There was another thing I realized, at the end of the day, after all the nerve wracking and nail biting emotional turbulence I went through... The end is all that matters!
Sitting in the classroom the next day with all the children from the school and a few of the parents, watching them watch and then react positively to the movie. It dawned upon me that at the end of the day it was all the part of a whole story. All that mattered was that the message went across. That at least one of the children from the classroom would remember something from this initiative. That the learning was not just limited to the children moreover it hovered around me.
At the end of the day, I am happy that I did something apart from the daily monotonous life that was setting in slowly. Also, keeping in touch with certain aspects of my life which i had started to ignore vis a vis photography, and Rasoolpura worked wonders for my psych :)
Further, the lesson I learnt from this experience was to take the initiative in the right spirit also at the right level. Someone correctly pointed out "if you cant do it right from the directors seat, take the assistant's"
Special thanks to
- Varun and Moin for doing a wonderful job as Prakash and Shankar
- Harish for effective narration and all the running around he did!
- Siva and Aparna for helping through each step of the movie and giving it shape.
- Phani and Junaid for mentoring, cooking, and adopting us for the weekend.
- Everyone from Bhumi for their humble and dedicated support at any time of the day
- and Kadambini, for once again initiating and taking the first step forward
Heres the link of the movie for those who want to watch it