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Sunday, December 20

Glooming Days

This gloom, its come again.
See it laughs at us, and loves our state.
oh look, there, this gloom.

it stays

Its hazy now,with unheard cries
Silence, from that day gone by
Strange, make a note, this gloom

it stays

Monday, December 14

and love hurts... so much, and so often these days...

Tuesday, November 17

Here's to songs then...

Have you ever spoken to someone through a song?

I have.

When I was a child, my mum did. She sooo did, and still does. When I grew a little older, I did too.

My little sister, Suk and I crooned over several songs which had a big effect on our adolescent minds. Yes, even love was defined somewhere then for us as well. So were other emotions, anger, shame, shy, coy, furious, happiness, friends, and of course life.

Life to us was through the music we heard sharing the headfones of the old sony walkman that we shared, possesed rather proudly. We would sleep into the night with the music playing in each of our ears, singing softly with the song. Or, shaking our bodies (muscles more like it) to the beats of the songs.

Friends came along, friendships happened. Heart grew fond of some, and unfond of few along the way. Everyone moved on, and moved away but all through music stayed. Some of my earliest memory are of making 'my friend' listen to the song especially a stanza again and again, cause it beautifully expressed my emotion in the simplest way. Kids those day I tell you ... :D

Then came a time, when I disapproved this act of talking through songs completely. I thought that it too frivoulous, repetive and common. And not original. And so, I slowly but quietly despised and distanced myself from anyone who remotely had a tendency in that mode of expression.

But every now and then, I would come across this one song that would remind me of that one day, that one person, that one feeling...

Thats when I started dancing. My songs were not just expressions and words helping me communicate or convey to a third person. There was now a way for me to understand myself, my body, my moods - and my swings. Something, I was unaware existed and had barely noticed until then.

Somewhere between this and that, I met them. Music to them was life, like me. And they held a bigger treasure within themselves. Our world was small, and we like nomads between transition would start strumming and singing. Every song had a happy ending, and every word had a promise of a jet plane. Later when it all came to an end, it was earmarked with the graduation song in the end.

Music continued to play a big part in my life. A way of opening a new conversation with a stranger. Or expressing interest in others interest. Or even making bonds that last a lifetime.
Sonsg have that magic for me.

Nowadays, I listen to a song when I feel happy. I listen to a song when I am sad. I listen and dance when I feel elated.

And sing along when I am...well.... just I am :)

Here is the one that I have been humming for a while. Iktara, from wake up sid :)
Yes, I am talking through this song :D

Wednesday, November 11

Things I must do after I quit Google

  • Learn French
  • Learn Adobe Photoshop
  • Buy A lens
  • Get back on with Bhumi
  • GMAT
  • Get A Permanent License

Tuesday, October 13

Honey And The Moon

Vamsi, this ones for you :)

Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up

I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep
As the sea
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives.

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave
A message
On your answering machine

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives

Run away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
A fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
That lights
Up my night

But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish that I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

Run away tonight
Freedom freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang around

Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up
All the time I've falling down

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

Wednesday, October 7

Shit Happens, and Life Stops.

And So, I seemed to write only when Shit Happens. Well, I am so frustrated I haven't felt so in a long, long time. I have been telling myself that 'shit happens and life goes on.'

However, I d like to change this to 'Shit happens, and life goes back.'

Well, I am back to square one again.

Monday, August 24


In the darkest corners of my life I dont see him as someone who I can depend on. I see him more as a menacing shadow that follows me and beckons me into darkness. There are time when the shadow cant be seen that's when there is a lot of light - my sunshine. Rest of the times, I just lie low, hiding, crouching, waiting for time to pass.

There are times when the hidden darkness in me shows, I know. Left alone, my paws and fangs can hurt - and over the years they have only . Scared I may hurt someone. Mostly myself, I lie and hide, away from him - my shadow - away from me.

He hears me loud he hears me clear. I my whispers are stronger and louder than shouts in his ears. I make some noise I can hear him - louder, closer. I just wish there was someone to hold on. This darkness never ends. And I know, even if I escape my life will be left behind in the shadows.

Can someone live without a life? I ll know soon.

Monday, August 17

4 am Love

It rained outside today but I dint notice.

I was thoroughly drenched in love today!

Just cause we were around until 4 am both ways...


Saturday, August 15

And everyone deserves:

  • to have a bed to call their own
  • to have a door to privacy
  • to have someone to dearly love
  • to have freedom to wear what they want
  • to have a friend they can call at 4 am
  • to be able to cook when they want to
  • to be sexually expressive
  • to walk looking up at the sky
  • to carry anything anywhere
  • to leave when they want to
  • to feel secure
  • to play in the park
  • to not being frisked at every nook and corner
  • to feel healthy
  • to a good nights sleep
  • to look themselves
  • to express themselves without inhibitions
  • to dance in the rain
  • to say 'No, Thank you!'
  • their sunshine
  • to close others out
  • to feel liberated
Then, spiritual freedom will be free for all, and not limited to a few.
May be - like animals...

Saturday, August 1

Ruskin Bond, Starts his Omnibus with the following words

"The day most completely lost is the day on which one does not laugh at least once"

And thats the reason why I enjoy his stories thoroughly! :)

Wednesday, July 22

Killed Piracy?

Heard MoserBaer?

A year back you would have heard the whole film fraternity, and anyone even remotely associated with them crying out aloud for the thriving market of pirated movie VCDs and DVDs. Indians loved to watch their movies at a click of a button and throw away prices.

Fast forward a year later, MoserBaer is here to stay. With more than 10, 000 movies across all the filmdom of major regional languages, Bollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood, Mollywood, and so on. They have now captured the hearts of every urban and semi urban Indian who love their movies.

Promising not just a good time, with several combination of movies, you can also have your favorite movies home delivered at no extra cost. And the cost, you may ask - hows Rs 45 for a DVD with 3 movies?

The visual and sound quality of the movies on the DVDs and VCDs is simply wonderful. And what you may call as the best thing is that - you get to watch all your favorite movies - guilt free!

You can use the store locator option on the website, and find the vendor closest to you. Mind you, if you are expecting just one or two stores spread across your city, think again! They have ensured they reach the widest audience, across all small towns and cities.

After loading my self with several sets of movies, when I came back - I was a more than just a happy person. :) Go MoserBaser

Monday, July 13

Eyes On The Horizon

And I don't look into anyone's eyes, they might catch something that I don't want them to see.
Eyes, after all speak more than words sometimes.

Today, I look far away, away from those pruning eyes, deliberately looking at the horizon far away. This may help me keep my tears away.

There is less to be said, a lot just understood. I hope he comes home, and things go back to 'normal' or whatever that may mean.

Like he says 'why dont people look at the flowers? and the bees?' It definitely would have been worthwhile I am sure.

Thanks For "You Make My Life Simple" Bit - That's what I am trying hard to do, and thats what I am here to do.

Eyes though, will still stay far away... May be they will see things I have missed. May be they will lead them to see those other beautiful things.

Hopefully. Eyes, stay there, don't look in this way, don't look inside me. Don't touch me, and cry me. I like the way I feel - a lil bit ok.

Thursday, July 2

News To Muse...And Mark This Day.

Michael Jackson passed away at his place - will miss being 'thrilled' by your music, and hope you are 'Moon Walking' somewhere.

Mumbai to Worli Sea-link Opened on June 30. Yay! Thats a great big step for india, that too in record time of 5 years. However, its become more of a museum, with a toll tax of Rs.50 levied for all those poor souls who are to to use it - wonder what a perk this is for the Indians - from the Govt. Of India.

No rains yet, partly cloudy sky since this morning. All await the 'out burst' of the clouds for the rains 'drop' to the ground, heavily. ;)

KitKat vanished, and we have no idea where she is since the last three days. Sukriti has been walking zombie, and we are all waiting eagerly to hear her 'meaow' :(

Closer home, Vamsi might come this feb (the coming feb) thanks to Ajanta getting married. :) Congrats Ajanta, this is one of the best news off late. And, yay! Some ray of hope, coming closer home. I look forward to 2010 already!

At work, one can see a touch of home these days with cane swings put up for us, wee, love them!

Lastly, my heart is filled with love and gratitude for all. Its a feeling where you can safely say 'I feel light as a bolloon.' I love floating in the air, slowly bumbing into things I am oblivious to. :)
Thank You Guys, I Love You All.

Two Years At Google, Can It Be Any Less Awesome?

Today, proudly I can say I am Two Years Old At Google :)

Not, I am going to be two years old soon
Not, I will be two years in a few weeks
Not, I am almost two years at Google
Not, I am One Year, Eight Months, and 20 Days
Not, I am going to complete two years in some time...

Just Two Years.

Of Work, Laughter, Friends, fun, Love, Life, Dead lines, crib sessions, lunches
breakfasts, dinners, Movies, Nanking Nights, Team Meetings, Fusion, the fusionistas, and all that

:) Thank You Google!! :)


Google India :)

Tuesday, June 30

Free Advice
free advice
Free advice
free Advice

Not Needing. Not Heeding.

Thank You.

Saturday, June 20

Whats My Purpose, Now?

What is my purpose?
To be with Vamsi?
To be with my advertiser?

No, to be true to myself.

Whats my purpose?
To get married?
To study further?

No, just stay in the now.
Do what is best at this moment And leave the rest to happen.

Whats my purpose?
To do the best I can to what is on my hand, on my mind.

Where does that take me?

Am I happy?
If I get married – would I be happy?
If I don’t get married – would I be happy?
If I study – would I be happy?
If I don’t study – would I be happy?

What matters to me?
To be alive!

To every moment, to every breath, to every sound, to every fragrance, to every touch and to every sense of everything around me.

Mere thinking about doing the things that everyone feels is right – you are just lying to yourself. Again, be true, be honest to yourself!

There is no right. No wrong. Everything just is. Doesn’t matter what choice you make, as long as you find happiness in being – in living, in the journey of life – everything else will take place in its own time.

Happiness is in the now, in the very moment you are living. It will not be delivered when you reach, or do something. It is as long as you live, as long as you are alive. It is. It just is.

Remember this. Always.

Monsoons are here, my first pictures of this years monsoons - Welcome Monsooooons!! :)

Tuesday, June 2

Baanvra Mann...

Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna
Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavri Se Dhadkaane Hain, Bavri Hain Saansen
Bavri Si Karwaton Se, Nindiya Door Bhaage
Bavre Se Nain Chaahe, Bavre Jharokhon Se, Bavre Nazaron Ko Takna.
Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Is Jahan Main Bavra Ek Saath Ho
Is Sayani Bheed Main Bas Haathon Mein Tera Haath Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavre Se Pair Chahen, Baavron Tarano Ke, Bavre Se Bol Pe Thirakna.
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Thartharati Low Ho Maddham, Bavri Madhoshiyan
Bavra Ek Ghooghta Chahe, Haule Haule Bin Bataye, Bavre Se Mukhde Se Sarakana,
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Friday, May 29


Space. I want some...

Tuesday, April 28

When I was just a little girl

I asked my mother what will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I was just a child in school
I asked my teacher what should I try
Should I paint pictures
Should I sing songs
This was her wise reply

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will there be rainbows day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

What will be, will be
Que sera sera...

Thursday, April 16

Thursday, April 2

Feel like walking away from everything. Sudden urge to just fall out of every responsibility taken, every commitment made, every relationship mended, any thats broken. 

Just walk out and leave behind a world built on strength of charecter, honesty, trust and emotions. Even writing all this sounds utter nonsense, and I just feel like tearing everything off like a paper into several bits and pieces. 

Anger, frustration - for what? For whom? The unindentified, and the unknown. 

Care for less, care for nothing else - Be careless! For once realise that there is no power in 'one' Understand that One cant make a difference, it only happened in history. And even if  'one' can, then the other 'one' has ALL the luck 'one' needs to survive in this world, and make THE difference! Otherwise, on normal days, for normal people 'One' really cant do much. 

Walking out of the virtual world, and life I have created. Atleast I ll try to stay away for...not sure if i can complete this sentence. Things of the future, are anyays out of 'one's' hands.

Wednesday, April 1

Every woman should...

...Choose her own life and live life on her own terms,

have the right to her own visions

but be open to a man’s idea too,

have unlimited desires, but keep her feet on the

earth, learn to love herself, her

reflection and her existence,

treat herself with chocolates and ice-creams and

give herself flowers, learn to

discover her own talents more

and more and confidently win everyone’s heart, at

times just let loose, but still be shy

and sophisticated, do the craziest

of things, like kiss herself good night in the mirror,

go for window shopping and satisfy

her interests, be at par with the

latest fashion, be sufficiently ambitious, determined

and gifted, be a little hard within,

but have that feminine instinct,

take the lead but let her man lead her too, and

always feel great about being a woman. 

I really liked this, thats why I decided to put it up :) To all of my kind :)

Wednesday, March 18

And If you have been thinking, thinking hard, of the way things are going. And whether, you want them to go the way they are. Just Wait. Hold. Breath. Talk.

And if in future you have a choice, fall in love with someone who lives just at an arms distance and not in different time zones. (Yes, the whole game of attraction, distraction, and the likes should take place with someone whose future is also in your vicinity)

If you dont want/have a choice, then like I said -Smile. Wait. Patience. Smile. Wait. Talk. Smile. Shout. Show Disappointment. Wait. Patience. Smile. Laugh. Love.

Things eventually do work out :)

Thanks for... umm... basically everything VammyPa. There are not many in my world who have the kind of patience, dedication and love you show. And So, I am choosing to say it in public, when I pretty much had a choice of writing you an email. If this in someway emarasses you, or hurts you :( Sowie, I promise it wasn't intentional. But Really! I would have been really burnt out had we had not had that talk :)

Thank You!!

Tuesday, March 3

Vicky Cristina Barcelona...

...What A Movie!

What a name - curious, you start watching the movie wondering if you will even come close to liking it. You start watching, nothing makes sense. Two girls - normal girls, normal thoughts, normal conversations. Aaah, a chick flick! I thought so...

So, feeling a lil comfortable as now you are walking in a known zone - thanks to the categorizing you have done in your mind. You watch it more, and you slowly start connecting. Again, normal girls with feelings and thoughts on love. Normal guys around. Some you are irresistibly attracted to, and some you think are wise and so, you should just make do.

You have thoughts that fluctuate between 'a Rucksack and some change is all one needs to go on a "discovering journey" of life ' and 'lets be practical, lets have some cash, lets be sure, and have a steady footing - dreams I ll discover soon'

You understand the emotions behind each character, the thought process. You also reflect on your emotions, as you know you have felt each and every characterized emotion, at one point in time of your life, or are capable of feeling them if you allow yourself.

At the end of the movie, you take a step back and breathe.

For every person with his ideas, ideals, wants, needs, peers, conversations, learnings, dreams, love, disappointments, can see a part of the distinctly human.

  1. If you stop believing and become practical about life, love and relationships - you are called a Cynic.
  2. If you believe too hard and too long, long enough that you see your life passing right in front of you - you are called a Romantic.
  3. If you believe and understand both, being practical and yet respecting those who believe in fairy tales and perfect love, - you are a Realist.
  4. If you are the one who illuminates, and communicates light to the eye, or clear views to the mind - you are an Enlightened Soul. (May Be) However, there is a catch here, with all the worldly wisdom and understanding... you may get confused and end up a Looser.
  5. If you are the one who knows yourself well, someone who is aware of the limitations of the other, yet you have some wants that are too difficult to fulfill - you allow yourself to become a Dreamer
Well, there is no hard and fast rule to these characterizations, but remember, these are just my interpretations of the characters. So, please feel free to find your own inference after watching the movie.

There are also times in the movie you admire the beautifully woven web of emotions and feelings that we as humans are capable of creating around ourselves - conflicts of the mind, and heart. Its the constant friction between what you want, what you need and what you get.

Simple things like Christina finding her passion thanks to the encouragement of Juan Antonio, and Maria Elena. I personally have discovered some of my best hidden talents after being pushed, prodded and pursued thanks to the encouragement of my world around.

The balance of characters, their emotions the constant flux of time, thoughts, and feelings.
lastly, just getting my thoughts together, I researched on Google, and Lo! No wonder, Penned by - Woody Allen!

Thursday, February 26

Thought For The Day

'There's always a lil truth behind every 'just kiddin', a lil knowledge behind every 'i dunno', a lil emotion behind every 'i don't care.' :) Wonder where did all the honesty go in this world?

Here is a rendition of stick figures and cartooning - one of my first. I know its quite difficult to see whats the conversation, please click on the image to see a bigger version :)


Friday, February 13

You Found Your Socket Yet?

Smile. Couple. Candles. Mr. Love. Intimacy. Rose. Apprehension. Fulfill. Strawberries. Coy. Balloons. Sex. Bold. Dinner. Beauty. Kiss. Bankrupt. Promise. Miss. Affection. Flirt. Ribbon. Cupid. French. Vine. Moon. Dew. Anticipation. Story. Beach. Red.

So here is my most favorite quote 'Hope, Wish, Love, Live and Smile cause you deserve it all!!' Heres a video that I find very interesting. Hope that you all find your bulbs and sockets ;)

Love and Cheers

Sex And The Socket

Thursday, February 12

And so, the news around my world is all about how the Air India planes just missed crashing into each other. How Billu Barbar is now only Billu as Barbar hurts certain sentiments of a particular society. How the 'Pink Chaddi' campaign is catching up and how suitable it is to the attitude of RSS. How Pakistan has not charged Kasab yet and So on.

But the most interesting thing that came out of this discussion was the power of blogging. How just simple idea written with conviction and character on a topic that concerns several spread like wild fire (however weirdly dumb and inappropriate its practicality may be) among many. Ofcourse media, internet and word of mouth is certainly to be given the credit. :)

So, here is one of the videos that was floated around when the discussion persisted. Sharing it with you all as its a great one. Its called:

Iran: A Nation of Bloggers by Vancouver Film School (VFS)

Tuesday, January 27

Republic Day - Happy Samvidhan

Republic day, the reason why my name came to life. Samvidha, or Samvidhan (संवीधान) is the word for 'Constitution.' And Republic day denotes the adoption of the Constitution before the transition of India from a British raj to a Country governed by its people (republic) on On January 26, 1950. Its the reason why we are a free and independent country today and have an independent jury, laws and courts. This was only for those who needed a brush on their history ;)

Well, more on the story on how my name came about. It was the day my Father sat biting his nails outside the Trimulghery Military Hospital :) While My grandparents sat reading the 'Hindi Milap.' The head lines read that this was the day when the Indian constitution (
भारतीय संवीधान) was conceptualized and adopted many years ago, 1949 to be precise :) And so, right then my grandma decided, that if it was a girl (Which I am) the they would call me Samvidha :)

Therefore, this day is special to me in many ways. Mostly because it reminds me of the many people who connect me to this India I live in now. Thanks to the history lessons that eventually followed over the years aka Countless Story sessions with Daadi and Baba. :)

Here's to India, Indians, Bhumi. Cheers!

Friday, January 23

Octapodi - About Love, Life & that chase...


Its a little love story of Octopus'

Was watching all the short films (Animated category) nominated for Oscars this year, and I totally fell in love with octapodi! The concept, the two octopus', the chase, the fun, the scare and Love.

I see it as a love triangle, taking place between pink octo' and the orange octo' and the man (who rightfully bought the pink octo.) And gradually I understood the reason for the man to chase the octopus' and the octopus to chase her love. Each one equally right in their own terms. The one who was empowered by the society, pocket and stomach, and the other bonded by heart, emotions and love. The movie although is a 2.25 mins duration is enough to live a life time through kaleidoscope. Again, this is my perspective. :)

And... even after the man is eliminated, the triangle lives on, again - a war with the matters of heart and stomach,

So.... Here's to the constant chase of Love and Life!

Wednesday, January 21

As the new one rolls in...

What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That's not been said a thousand times?
The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.
We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.
We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.
We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our prides, we sheet our dead.
We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that's the burden of a year.

Wish For A Happy & Meditative Year Ahead! :)

Sunday, January 4

"If you haven't got love in your heart you haven't got anything. No dreaming, no story telling."

Thanks For all the stories, Love.