Don't Leave Until You Leave

Some lessons come to you, when you need them the most. And they become lessons for life.
Today, I happened to learn something I hope never to forget in my life. I've been obsessed about getting married from the day the thought was put in my head. Its in my subconscious and it really has had an effect that has encapsulated and changed my whole life.

I have seen these changes in me and I have ignored them, because it dint make sense. I was doing all that I was supposed to. Yet, somewhere I wasnt doing enough. I dont have enough experience, neither do I have the right sort of people guiding me who can point and tell me what my problem is when they see it. So, I learn the hard way, and the hard way is the way that I am going to speak about today.

I have been a career oriented girl, or so I thought. I started off being completely enthused in college with the subjects that finally fit my ideas and mindset and gave me the sort of satisfaction that one gets from walking on a spring-season evening.  My life in college started with myself, in between I had my most amazing bunch of friends and came back to being myself. This is not a random rant, so please don't go just cause I am talking so much about myself back in college! What I am trying to get at while you may think I am going off in a tangent is that, I had a wild spirit back in college. A zest back there that I feel inside me brimming under a few layers these days. Those days, it used to be bubbling on top and everything else, tightly layered in. I knew that I wanted to do something good, and make something out of me. I worked very hard to achieve that.

So, after college even when I dint know what I'd do, I sort of knew that whatever I did, I'd do a good job of it. So, long after, when I was placed in the coolest companies, I started of with the same spirit. However, soon after, my personal life began to move full throttle. Somewhere in time, Vamsi asked me to marry him and I was in cloud 9. This was quite a while back. Since then, I would often get excited and start thinking and planning about the wedding. So much, that today when I look back,

So, often it would happen that I would be on the right track with work, and things would deteriorate, I would often let go basically because I had a parallel track called wedding.



Anyways, touchwood, things are going well on that end. And hopefully will continue to as well. I just wanted to write something that I remember for a lifetime. These 3 things were shared on TED by Sheryl Sandberg. And I hope to remember them, as they make complete sense to me

1. Sit at the table.

Meaning: give yourself that importance and dont shy away or under estimate your capabilities. You are in the room for a reason, you must make yourself and everyone feel it, and you better make most of it.

2. Make your partner a real partner.

Meaning: give your better half the credit and treat them as equals and with respect- as you wish to be treated. 
Make time for them, appreciate them for their love and support. Be open to sharing responsibilities. Home is not easy to handle for anyone, be it a man or a woman. Dont take your better half for granted.

3. Don't leave before you leave

Meaning: Do not stop working on opportunities and plans just because there is something "happening" in your personal life. Yes, agreed you have made some decisions too far in advance but this shouldn't stop you from doing your job halfheartedly or not doing the best of your capability.  Keep working actively until the very end!

The last point is the most important one that was ever shared with me, and also the most relevant. Yes, I have probably lost 2 years of my career here. However, learning something this important is never too late. Because when I look back its 2 long years of my 4 years of career, but I look forward - these are just 2 years of my loong loong life and career ahead.

I really hope to value not just professionally but personally too. Certain things become your nature only when you apply them to your personal as well as proffessional life. And me this has been the biggest learning.

And everyone deserves:

• to have a bed to call their own
• to have a door to privacy
• to have someone to dearly love
• to have freedom to wear what they want
• to have a friend they can call at 4 am
• to be able to cook when they want to
• to be sexually expressive
• to walk looking up at the sky
• to carry anything anywhere
• to leave when they want to
• to feel secure
• to play in the park
• to not being frisked at every nook and corner
• to feel healthy
• to a good nights sleep
• to look themselves
• to express themselves without inhibitions
• to dance in the rain
• to say 'No, Thank you!'
• their sunshine
• to close others out
• to feel liberated

Then, spiritual freedom will be free for all, and not limited to a few.

May be - like animals...

Whats My Purpose, Now?

What is my purpose?
To be with Vamsi?
To be with my advertiser?

No, to be true to myself.

Whats my purpose?
To get married?
To study further?

No, just stay in the now.
Do what is best at this moment And leave the rest to happen.

Whats my purpose?
To do the best I can to what is on my hand, on my mind.

Where does that take me?
Here. Nowhere.here.nowhere.here.nowhere

Am I happy?
Yes!
If I get married – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I don’t get married – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I study – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I don’t study – would I be happy?
Yes!

What matters to me?
To be alive!

To every moment, to every breath, to every sound, to every fragrance, to every touch and to every sense of everything around me.

Mere thinking about doing the things that everyone feels is right – you are just lying to yourself. Again, be true, be honest to yourself!

There is no right. No wrong. Everything just is. Doesn’t matter what choice you make, as long as you find happiness in being – in living, in the journey of life – everything else will take place in its own time.

Happiness is in the now, in the very moment you are living. It will not be delivered when you reach, or do something. It is as long as you live, as long as you are alive. It is. It just is.

Remember this. Always.

Monsoons are here, my first pictures of this years monsoons - Welcome Monsooooons!! :)

I made it count...

:) Proud feeling comes :)

April 16, 2009.