Love, Nat King Cole

 And on a half mooned marooned evening, such as today.Two friends sat arm in arm, chatting about the biggest mysteries they had ever known. Long after sharing stories, laughter and some serious heart to heart. One said, thinking out aloud with a sigh, "Love will always remain a mystery."

And the two held their breath with the pause that came after the respite they got from that sentence. A long drawn deep breadth and eons of a  pause later they sat looking at the elegant moon far far away. And just then this song started playing somewhere far far away.

Love, by the way, for that day stayed just that.


L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extra-ordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love, its all that i could give to you
Love, is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
 

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one i see
V is very very extra-ordinary

E is even more than any anyone that you adore

Love is all that i can give to you 

Love is more than just a game for two 

Two in love can make it 

Take my heart and please don't break it 

Love was made for me and you 

Love was made for me and you 

Love was made for me and you

   

Trepidation Of Rejection

Rejected.

The word rolls between my tongue the way sometimes wine does. I feel the layers to this word, just like sometimes I do with wine. Many a times, I am unsure as to what I may find. And many a times, I know I have found it. Its a cat and a mouse game, you keep at it and you forget how much time you have lost, how many thoughts and how much life. Rejection. You keep coming back to it; just like how you go back to that glass of wine, even after you have devoured a good mouthful.

There is something sweetly bitter about being rejected. Its a love affair; where your mind goes numb a minute and your heart comes alive the next. You can feel nothing and yet you feel everything. This minute you can hear the sounds, the noises, the thoughts, and the feelings - all comes to a standstill. You feel disconnected from the world. Sucked into a vacuum where you can probably only hear the aberration of what was, and not what is.

Your world definitely changes. It actually stops.

But thats how you feel it. Its not what it really is. Rejection makes you come alive. The word 'NO' in different forms, variations and meanings can have the same impact in different situations.  There is little that you can do when you are hit by this phenomenon of rejection.

You can be anybody.

You may be a expecting mother looking forward to meet the doctor who'd help in your baby's delivery. And are rejected as the doctors book has no place for appointments.
or
You may be that boy who is looking to start a life and is waiting in a plush reception of his dream company and is 'Suited' for the interview. And your turn to interview never comes.
or
You may be me. Waiting, waiting so long that the wait seems to have never started. That the wait seems to have become your life. And then out of no where, you can feel it coming; the rejection - you can feel it in your bones.
or
You may be that boy who has conjured up the courage today to ask her out, finally. You put on your best shoes and your jacket. Wear your best smile and have that red rose handy. Only to hear that she is not free that way.
or
You may be that wife who after a long long day of work and chaos, finally comes to bed to her husband; looking for some comfort, some love, some appreciation. Only to see that he is busy and building his social ties and doesnt even notice your presence. 

Rejection hits us most times when we are filled with pride, or rather least with pride. When we know that there is something we have done that deserves some comfort, some recognition, some good, and some kind words. Rejection sweeps us off our feet and places us back on the ground level faster than the blink of that eye. It has been there since centuries and probably is the cause of many many heart aches.

Of course, I feel rejected today, and so my hearts alive yet numb. 

Why is it tha rejection makes me trepid. Why do I abhore being rejected. Is it because I am very highly positive in my approach. That in moment I am filled with hope and possibilities and the next all of it shatters with a not-nod.


Intrepidity: I must become intrepid to being turned down. Shamelessly, intrepid.

Showering Sparrows!

 

So, I guess those who know me well know that I Love Sparrows. They are the cutest creatures in the whole world. At home a few years ago there used to be a bunch of sparrows living in a bush. But its been years since I have seen one at home, happily jumping and playing with each other. 

So, coming to the point, a few weeks back I had made a trip to Hampi, and guess what - the sparrows were there! Not just a bunch but in abundance. Every thatched roof had a family of sparrows, and so did every buss behind a rock. It was a delight watching these little wonders swing from one place to the other attached to each other with a spring.

Sparrows have a way with dancing and fluttering. And I can sit in a place and watch their energized activity for hours without moving a limb. If you watch them long, they ll tell stories. Some good ones, of happy times and some bad - of survival.

 Sparrows have become non - existent in our surrounding and we know why. We forgot about them. Simply. These small lil beings who are so known be so involved with themselves and their daily chores. We forgot about them cause we got involved in us, and ours. 

Anyways, its not time for lecture. The reason why I am writing this post is to share one of the most joyous occasions of my life. Showering Sparrows. :) Okay, more like Bathing Sparrows! 

So, I was walking back from one of the ruins early morning. The road was muddy and had puddles of water in several places after the incessant rains from the night before. So, trying to skip and miss these pools of water, I was returning to my guest house when out of no where these sparrows came fluttering. 

I stopped in my tracks as I had spend quite some time trying to take pictures of them since my visit but they are so fast its almost impossible. So, when they came flying out of the bush - obviously I froze in my tracks. I had no idea that I was in for a big treat. One after the other, in a few seconds there were about 8-10 sparrows. Some male and some female.

All of them came and stood beside these muddy pools of water and started to take a dip in the water. 5 of the females decided to take one pond while the rest 5 males decided to take the other. And they dipped and playyed and cleaned themselves, while I happily did a sparrow dance and took these shots. 

I know, there must be better shots of them - but for me these really are the best - cause they have a dream come true wish behind them. Cause these have a story that ll be shared with many. And I am glad I was part of the Sparrow Kingdom for once :)

 

Although this whole incident must have lasted less than a second. For me it was a moment of a life time. When my silent wish to the sparrows-to-hold,-so-I-could-take-a-picture came true.

Here's to songs then...

Have you ever spoken to someone through a song?

I have.

When I was a child, my mum did. She sooo did, and still does. When I grew a little older, I did too.

My little sister, Suk and I crooned over several songs which had a big effect on our adolescent minds. Yes, even love was defined somewhere then for us as well. So were other emotions, anger, shame, shy, coy, furious, happiness, friends, and of course life.

Life to us was through the music we heard sharing the headfones of the old sony walkman that we shared, possesed rather proudly. We would sleep into the night with the music playing in each of our ears, singing softly with the song. Or, shaking our bodies (muscles more like it) to the beats of the songs.

Friends came along, friendships happened. Heart grew fond of some, and unfond of few along the way. Everyone moved on, and moved away but all through music stayed. Some of my earliest memory are of making 'my friend' listen to the song especially a stanza again and again, cause it beautifully expressed my emotion in the simplest way. Kids those day I tell you ... :D

Then came a time, when I disapproved this act of talking through songs completely. I thought that it too frivoulous, repetive and common. And not original. And so, I slowly but quietly despised and distanced myself from anyone who remotely had a tendency in that mode of expression.

But every now and then, I would come across this one song that would remind me of that one day, that one person, that one feeling...

Thats when I started dancing. My songs were not just expressions and words helping me communicate or convey to a third person. There was now a way for me to understand myself, my body, my moods - and my swings. Something, I was unaware existed and had barely noticed until then.

Somewhere between this and that, I met them. Music to them was life, like me. And they held a bigger treasure within themselves. Our world was small, and we like nomads between transition would start strumming and singing. Every song had a happy ending, and every word had a promise of a jet plane. Later when it all came to an end, it was earmarked with the graduation song in the end.

Music continued to play a big part in my life. A way of opening a new conversation with a stranger. Or expressing interest in others interest. Or even making bonds that last a lifetime.
Sonsg have that magic for me.

Nowadays, I listen to a song when I feel happy. I listen to a song when I am sad. I listen and dance when I feel elated.

And sing along when I am...well.... just I am :)

Here is the one that I have been humming for a while. Iktara, from wake up sid :)
Yes, I am talking through this song :D

4 am Love

It rained outside today but I dint notice.

I was thoroughly drenched in love today!

Just cause we were around until 4 am both ways...

:)

And everyone deserves:

• to have a bed to call their own
• to have a door to privacy
• to have someone to dearly love
• to have freedom to wear what they want
• to have a friend they can call at 4 am
• to be able to cook when they want to
• to be sexually expressive
• to walk looking up at the sky
• to carry anything anywhere
• to leave when they want to
• to feel secure
• to play in the park
• to not being frisked at every nook and corner
• to feel healthy
• to a good nights sleep
• to look themselves
• to express themselves without inhibitions
• to dance in the rain
• to say 'No, Thank you!'
• their sunshine
• to close others out
• to feel liberated

Then, spiritual freedom will be free for all, and not limited to a few.

May be - like animals...

Whats My Purpose, Now?

What is my purpose?
To be with Vamsi?
To be with my advertiser?

No, to be true to myself.

Whats my purpose?
To get married?
To study further?

No, just stay in the now.
Do what is best at this moment And leave the rest to happen.

Whats my purpose?
To do the best I can to what is on my hand, on my mind.

Where does that take me?
Here. Nowhere.here.nowhere.here.nowhere

Am I happy?
Yes!
If I get married – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I don’t get married – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I study – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I don’t study – would I be happy?
Yes!

What matters to me?
To be alive!

To every moment, to every breath, to every sound, to every fragrance, to every touch and to every sense of everything around me.

Mere thinking about doing the things that everyone feels is right – you are just lying to yourself. Again, be true, be honest to yourself!

There is no right. No wrong. Everything just is. Doesn’t matter what choice you make, as long as you find happiness in being – in living, in the journey of life – everything else will take place in its own time.

Happiness is in the now, in the very moment you are living. It will not be delivered when you reach, or do something. It is as long as you live, as long as you are alive. It is. It just is.

Remember this. Always.

Monsoons are here, my first pictures of this years monsoons - Welcome Monsooooons!! :)

Baanvra Mann...

Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna
Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavri Se Dhadkaane Hain, Bavri Hain Saansen
Bavri Si Karwaton Se, Nindiya Door Bhaage
Bavre Se Nain Chaahe, Bavre Jharokhon Se, Bavre Nazaron Ko Takna.
Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Is Jahan Main Bavra Ek Saath Ho
Is Sayani Bheed Main Bas Haathon Mein Tera Haath Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavre Se Pair Chahen, Baavron Tarano Ke, Bavre Se Bol Pe Thirakna.
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Thartharati Low Ho Maddham, Bavri Madhoshiyan
Bavra Ek Ghooghta Chahe, Haule Haule Bin Bataye, Bavre Se Mukhde Se Sarakana,
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Every woman should...

...Choose her own life and live life on her own terms,

have the right to her own visions

but be open to a man’s idea too,

have unlimited desires, but keep her feet on the

earth, learn to love herself, her

reflection and her existence,

treat herself with chocolates and ice-creams and

give herself flowers, learn to

discover her own talents more

and more and confidently win everyone’s heart, at

times just let loose, but still be shy

and sophisticated, do the craziest

of things, like kiss herself good night in the mirror,

go for window shopping and satisfy

her interests, be at par with the

latest fashion, be sufficiently ambitious, determined

and gifted, be a little hard within,

but have that feminine instinct,

take the lead but let her man lead her too, and

always feel great about being a woman. 

I really liked this, thats why I decided to put it up :) To all of my kind :)

An ode to him.

Death, peculiar and pious,
One of the queer things of life.

I often wonder how is it that
Sometimes even foresight
and the triumphant moonlight
Cannot strengthen you

To bear the sight of a life less body
On a darkened daylight.

What is worse you might decide
A body with a soul and a thudding heart
already dying? or
Him, a relentless soul with a
Passion to live each moment?

Ever looked into the eyes'
of a man dying?

They are alive with a desperate hope
to live for a minute more
Ever looked deep into the eyes'
of a man for whom the future remains unknown?

You will see tinge of hidden sadness
His eyes will speak a thousand words

I can’t shed a tear
Cause there is seldom fear
A known fact that it’s all a part of living
Just about everything

What is it about death
I don't seem to understand

Contemplating and condemning
I hate this circle of life
Why should I be given something
only for it to be taken far away?

But oh!! I wish so wish..
I could hold on to you for a little longer..

My precious dear life
Oh! see there it goes away...

For Rufus.