Don't Leave Until You Leave

Some lessons come to you, when you need them the most. And they become lessons for life.
Today, I happened to learn something I hope never to forget in my life. I've been obsessed about getting married from the day the thought was put in my head. Its in my subconscious and it really has had an effect that has encapsulated and changed my whole life.

I have seen these changes in me and I have ignored them, because it dint make sense. I was doing all that I was supposed to. Yet, somewhere I wasnt doing enough. I dont have enough experience, neither do I have the right sort of people guiding me who can point and tell me what my problem is when they see it. So, I learn the hard way, and the hard way is the way that I am going to speak about today.

I have been a career oriented girl, or so I thought. I started off being completely enthused in college with the subjects that finally fit my ideas and mindset and gave me the sort of satisfaction that one gets from walking on a spring-season evening.  My life in college started with myself, in between I had my most amazing bunch of friends and came back to being myself. This is not a random rant, so please don't go just cause I am talking so much about myself back in college! What I am trying to get at while you may think I am going off in a tangent is that, I had a wild spirit back in college. A zest back there that I feel inside me brimming under a few layers these days. Those days, it used to be bubbling on top and everything else, tightly layered in. I knew that I wanted to do something good, and make something out of me. I worked very hard to achieve that.

So, after college even when I dint know what I'd do, I sort of knew that whatever I did, I'd do a good job of it. So, long after, when I was placed in the coolest companies, I started of with the same spirit. However, soon after, my personal life began to move full throttle. Somewhere in time, Vamsi asked me to marry him and I was in cloud 9. This was quite a while back. Since then, I would often get excited and start thinking and planning about the wedding. So much, that today when I look back,

So, often it would happen that I would be on the right track with work, and things would deteriorate, I would often let go basically because I had a parallel track called wedding.



Anyways, touchwood, things are going well on that end. And hopefully will continue to as well. I just wanted to write something that I remember for a lifetime. These 3 things were shared on TED by Sheryl Sandberg. And I hope to remember them, as they make complete sense to me

1. Sit at the table.

Meaning: give yourself that importance and dont shy away or under estimate your capabilities. You are in the room for a reason, you must make yourself and everyone feel it, and you better make most of it.

2. Make your partner a real partner.

Meaning: give your better half the credit and treat them as equals and with respect- as you wish to be treated. 
Make time for them, appreciate them for their love and support. Be open to sharing responsibilities. Home is not easy to handle for anyone, be it a man or a woman. Dont take your better half for granted.

3. Don't leave before you leave

Meaning: Do not stop working on opportunities and plans just because there is something "happening" in your personal life. Yes, agreed you have made some decisions too far in advance but this shouldn't stop you from doing your job halfheartedly or not doing the best of your capability.  Keep working actively until the very end!

The last point is the most important one that was ever shared with me, and also the most relevant. Yes, I have probably lost 2 years of my career here. However, learning something this important is never too late. Because when I look back its 2 long years of my 4 years of career, but I look forward - these are just 2 years of my loong loong life and career ahead.

I really hope to value not just professionally but personally too. Certain things become your nature only when you apply them to your personal as well as proffessional life. And me this has been the biggest learning.

Somethings Broken...

"Yeah, we broke up." How often I have heard this. How often I've wondered what it feels like.How often I've thought that its more an immature-ish thing. Something that the my world is learning from the west. How often I've wanted to laugh at the person who loudly acclaims 'Oh, yeah! I broke up with him/her' thinking to myself, oh, if it was that easy, I wonder if you even knew him/her.

But slowly its clearing up for me. That foggy vision, like the glass pane after a hot warm shower. Which one stands watching for a long long second and then you raise your hand to clear it. Slowly, until a familiar reflection starts to show themselves to you, again. For a long time, you are mesmerized by what you see.

But it only takes you a second to realize that the person you see is not the same. Something has changed. Something has changed. Of course, sometimes I wonder what has. Honestly, I have a sense of it but when I say it loud, it sounds similar to a lie, and so, quickly I take it back. It takes some time, and I continue watching the reflection, closely- trying to figure out what is that really has changed. After a minute, something else, catches my attention and I close my eyes. When I open them, I recognize it, that reflection.

Its from the memory of a minute before. And sometimes, thats all one needs to be reminded of what I am and what I' ve come to.

Of course, I do not know what to do and where to go from here, I have been here too long. But I'd like to say it to those who've had similar thoughts as mine. Breaking up is not easy for some. Especially if you have dreamed together too long. There are memories that bubble up each day. There are tears enough to fill your bubble and burst it too. That security of future, that hope for tomorrow. All is lost, in a moment. But damn that longing, and damn that pain - it just stays.

Somethings broken and I am broken up. Its not something that came to me with a click of my fingers. It came to me just like love had, snaking its way slowly by steadily towards me - towards all of me.  Its a realization that something is not right. Its not taking me the way I wanted to go. I had reached out several times, just like some one who is going to end their life would. After many attempts and many many rehearsals in mind, I decides to take that plunge.

And I did it.

Just like I had for love. This is the same as that. The only difference is that its more for the love of myself, than for the love of that someone else. I am at a crossroad and I know that what we had was something  of once in a lifetime. Often, I know, I ll wonder and look back. Often, I know I will have those thoughts. Often, I ll again steam up my windows and rub them only to see if that someone was really me. There is life ahead, and its a long long lonely one...

Trepidation Of Rejection

Rejected.

The word rolls between my tongue the way sometimes wine does. I feel the layers to this word, just like sometimes I do with wine. Many a times, I am unsure as to what I may find. And many a times, I know I have found it. Its a cat and a mouse game, you keep at it and you forget how much time you have lost, how many thoughts and how much life. Rejection. You keep coming back to it; just like how you go back to that glass of wine, even after you have devoured a good mouthful.

There is something sweetly bitter about being rejected. Its a love affair; where your mind goes numb a minute and your heart comes alive the next. You can feel nothing and yet you feel everything. This minute you can hear the sounds, the noises, the thoughts, and the feelings - all comes to a standstill. You feel disconnected from the world. Sucked into a vacuum where you can probably only hear the aberration of what was, and not what is.

Your world definitely changes. It actually stops.

But thats how you feel it. Its not what it really is. Rejection makes you come alive. The word 'NO' in different forms, variations and meanings can have the same impact in different situations.  There is little that you can do when you are hit by this phenomenon of rejection.

You can be anybody.

You may be a expecting mother looking forward to meet the doctor who'd help in your baby's delivery. And are rejected as the doctors book has no place for appointments.
or
You may be that boy who is looking to start a life and is waiting in a plush reception of his dream company and is 'Suited' for the interview. And your turn to interview never comes.
or
You may be me. Waiting, waiting so long that the wait seems to have never started. That the wait seems to have become your life. And then out of no where, you can feel it coming; the rejection - you can feel it in your bones.
or
You may be that boy who has conjured up the courage today to ask her out, finally. You put on your best shoes and your jacket. Wear your best smile and have that red rose handy. Only to hear that she is not free that way.
or
You may be that wife who after a long long day of work and chaos, finally comes to bed to her husband; looking for some comfort, some love, some appreciation. Only to see that he is busy and building his social ties and doesnt even notice your presence. 

Rejection hits us most times when we are filled with pride, or rather least with pride. When we know that there is something we have done that deserves some comfort, some recognition, some good, and some kind words. Rejection sweeps us off our feet and places us back on the ground level faster than the blink of that eye. It has been there since centuries and probably is the cause of many many heart aches.

Of course, I feel rejected today, and so my hearts alive yet numb. 

Why is it tha rejection makes me trepid. Why do I abhore being rejected. Is it because I am very highly positive in my approach. That in moment I am filled with hope and possibilities and the next all of it shatters with a not-nod.


Intrepidity: I must become intrepid to being turned down. Shamelessly, intrepid.

I look up...

Some times, we allow our life to drive happiness out of one or a dew sources. This is not a very ideal way of living, the wise say. I guess because, as easily these conditions pick you up and help you soar the skies, same way, its easy for them to drop you back down there. May be having several sources would be like having best friends with eagles and storks. If one drops you, the other picks you up mid way and takes you a different direction.

Yes, ideally I'd love to have multiple sources not a handful as I do now. But, I am here, and I know that one of my sources is shining bright. The shining star blinds me, and I am dazzled. There isnt much I can do as I am glued to my feet. And so, I helplessly let go. Let go off all my inhibitions, and feel lightened thanks to the much heavy weight I have shed. And so, I start to float. Just like it happens in water, you rise up... slowly but surely. And before I can acknowledge what is happening, I am flying. High :)

He is visiting soon. 9 days more to go. :) At last, the excitements building (All is normal here, thank god!) :) I am also looking forward to a loong break from work and indulging into things I love to do. :) Travel, click click, swim, cook, dance, singa - ringa and laugh :) Like, laugh enough to satisfy all that I have missed in the many many days past. I am looking forward to some refreshment and refreshing freshness he brings with his perspective. Yes, I am also looking forward to the madness. I am looking forward to being pampered, just enough. And doing little things and drawing happy memories for a lifetime. Needless to say, I am looking forward to intense discussions on varied topics. Its a lovely feeling - this anticipation, and this knowledge that we are both here to listen and understand each other more. It comes with being around each other, we let go off a little on our own, and a little more in each others company.

Revisiting ruins and old times, making new and building few :) Its all a part of why I am so mad about you. Here is a picture that totally dipicts this madness albeit logically!


Song For The Mood

Unlike, all times, java software is blocked on my comp so, I am unable to download this beautiful video and connect it directly to my site. Sorry, to listen, you will have to go to Youtube :) Here's Let Go!

Love, & Random. Note to self.

Anxious. Can't sleep.

There was a time when Love to me was all beautiful things. When it was tender and soft and carefree. Like a walk in the meadows, or a Poppy orchard with the butterflies fluttering for company. When trying to replicate my feelings, I couldn't come up with any less than this for them. 

Today I feel like a sham. There is not much that is tender or vulnerable. It gets frustrating if I try too hard as I sound less original. The more I try, the more I hate. In the past, I have never had as many drafts as I do today.

My expressions of self only seem to make me loath my self more these days, leave alone let them feel my love. Then again, I wonder if this is really love anymore. But before I let that thought take me into a complete tangent, I must remember that I cant always be searching for 'that love' cause that love too gets boring, if lived too often. Its like reading the same lines again and again, the first few times you may feel the enthu, but after a few reads, your eyes and mind gets trained to ignore and move on

Anyways, I think I cant sleep, only cause I have gotten used to a good night call since for ever! When Beethovan and John Keats felt the way we did, and we able to describe it better, then I guess, I may have a chance too. Its not time yet. I must open myself to feel my wings, and believe that I can create wonderful things if I open my heart again to feel them. If I start seeing them again, as I once saw them, for the first time.

For that I may have to have a hundred and one conversations with this mind of mine. I may have to kill or bribe. Or I may just have to fall in love all over again. What ever it may be. Tonight I am going to spend in hope that when it comes to me, it takes my life force with it, like it did then.

Until then, this night does need company, so do I.

Here's to songs then...

Have you ever spoken to someone through a song?

I have.

When I was a child, my mum did. She sooo did, and still does. When I grew a little older, I did too.

My little sister, Suk and I crooned over several songs which had a big effect on our adolescent minds. Yes, even love was defined somewhere then for us as well. So were other emotions, anger, shame, shy, coy, furious, happiness, friends, and of course life.

Life to us was through the music we heard sharing the headfones of the old sony walkman that we shared, possesed rather proudly. We would sleep into the night with the music playing in each of our ears, singing softly with the song. Or, shaking our bodies (muscles more like it) to the beats of the songs.

Friends came along, friendships happened. Heart grew fond of some, and unfond of few along the way. Everyone moved on, and moved away but all through music stayed. Some of my earliest memory are of making 'my friend' listen to the song especially a stanza again and again, cause it beautifully expressed my emotion in the simplest way. Kids those day I tell you ... :D

Then came a time, when I disapproved this act of talking through songs completely. I thought that it too frivoulous, repetive and common. And not original. And so, I slowly but quietly despised and distanced myself from anyone who remotely had a tendency in that mode of expression.

But every now and then, I would come across this one song that would remind me of that one day, that one person, that one feeling...

Thats when I started dancing. My songs were not just expressions and words helping me communicate or convey to a third person. There was now a way for me to understand myself, my body, my moods - and my swings. Something, I was unaware existed and had barely noticed until then.

Somewhere between this and that, I met them. Music to them was life, like me. And they held a bigger treasure within themselves. Our world was small, and we like nomads between transition would start strumming and singing. Every song had a happy ending, and every word had a promise of a jet plane. Later when it all came to an end, it was earmarked with the graduation song in the end.

Music continued to play a big part in my life. A way of opening a new conversation with a stranger. Or expressing interest in others interest. Or even making bonds that last a lifetime.
Sonsg have that magic for me.

Nowadays, I listen to a song when I feel happy. I listen to a song when I am sad. I listen and dance when I feel elated.

And sing along when I am...well.... just I am :)

Here is the one that I have been humming for a while. Iktara, from wake up sid :)
Yes, I am talking through this song :D

Whats My Purpose, Now?

What is my purpose?
To be with Vamsi?
To be with my advertiser?

No, to be true to myself.

Whats my purpose?
To get married?
To study further?

No, just stay in the now.
Do what is best at this moment And leave the rest to happen.

Whats my purpose?
To do the best I can to what is on my hand, on my mind.

Where does that take me?
Here. Nowhere.here.nowhere.here.nowhere

Am I happy?
Yes!
If I get married – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I don’t get married – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I study – would I be happy?
Yes!
If I don’t study – would I be happy?
Yes!

What matters to me?
To be alive!

To every moment, to every breath, to every sound, to every fragrance, to every touch and to every sense of everything around me.

Mere thinking about doing the things that everyone feels is right – you are just lying to yourself. Again, be true, be honest to yourself!

There is no right. No wrong. Everything just is. Doesn’t matter what choice you make, as long as you find happiness in being – in living, in the journey of life – everything else will take place in its own time.

Happiness is in the now, in the very moment you are living. It will not be delivered when you reach, or do something. It is as long as you live, as long as you are alive. It is. It just is.

Remember this. Always.

Monsoons are here, my first pictures of this years monsoons - Welcome Monsooooons!! :)

I made it count...

:) Proud feeling comes :)

April 16, 2009.

Feel like walking away from everything. Sudden urge to just fall out of every responsibility taken, every commitment made, every relationship mended, any thats broken. 

Just walk out and leave behind a world built on strength of charecter, honesty, trust and emotions. Even writing all this sounds utter nonsense, and I just feel like tearing everything off like a paper into several bits and pieces. 

Anger, frustration - for what? For whom? The unindentified, and the unknown. 

Care for less, care for nothing else - Be careless! For once realise that there is no power in 'one' Understand that One cant make a difference, it only happened in history. And even if  'one' can, then the other 'one' has ALL the luck 'one' needs to survive in this world, and make THE difference! Otherwise, on normal days, for normal people 'One' really cant do much. 

Walking out of the virtual world, and life I have created. Atleast I ll try to stay away for...not sure if i can complete this sentence. Things of the future, are anyays out of 'one's' hands.

 

Every woman should...

...Choose her own life and live life on her own terms,

have the right to her own visions

but be open to a man’s idea too,

have unlimited desires, but keep her feet on the

earth, learn to love herself, her

reflection and her existence,

treat herself with chocolates and ice-creams and

give herself flowers, learn to

discover her own talents more

and more and confidently win everyone’s heart, at

times just let loose, but still be shy

and sophisticated, do the craziest

of things, like kiss herself good night in the mirror,

go for window shopping and satisfy

her interests, be at par with the

latest fashion, be sufficiently ambitious, determined

and gifted, be a little hard within,

but have that feminine instinct,

take the lead but let her man lead her too, and

always feel great about being a woman. 

I really liked this, thats why I decided to put it up :) To all of my kind :)

Thought For The Day

♫ 'There's always a lil truth behind every 'just kiddin', a lil knowledge behind every 'i dunno', a lil emotion behind every 'i don't care.' :) Wonder where did all the honesty go in this world?

Here is a rendition of stick figures and cartooning - one of my first. I know its quite difficult to see whats the conversation, please click on the image to see a bigger version :)

A lil girls Memory, and her fathers song.

Preface: Before you start reading, let me fill in the gaps. My dad was a fighter pilot most of my 'lil girl life'. Off the many parties I have been to with him, the most memorable remain the bachelor parties. The excitement in the air and the music. It doesn't seem to evade me, ever. Although these memories are blocked, here was something that brought back the energy afresh. Bachelor Boy, a classic by Cliff Richard I heard someone humming in the corridor. An instant later, I had to ask him what was the song. The stranger told... and then I heard.

Here is the email I subsequently wrote to dad, and his subsequent reply.

Dear Dad,

They say the imprints of some music you hear when you were a child never leave you.

I am not sure how far it is true, but when I heard someone humming this song, I had some distinct and clear visions. I could see a band, and white... may be the uniform that was white, or the snow, or the sheets, or the paint of the room, or the socks I wore. I must have been really tiny cause my line of vision seems to be below the torso level. :) But I do know that I was instantly filled with so much happiness and love, and something else...

I could clearly visualize holding your hand while the song played. Was there dancing too? Were there bumps as well? I remember laughing, and happiness, I also remember you singing, or may be humming it... I am not sure.. but the picture it created was amazing. One song that I distinctly remembered and although I could not recall when and where I had heard it.

Do listen when you can.

Yours,
Me.

Dads reply...

Hmmm...must have been some sqadron party and group singing as far as I can recollect. Could be Kervincop uncle in srinagar/udhampur/hindon...he used to sing
with the guitar. But you were too small then...less than 2.

-Dad.

"Ha ha ha. May be." I replied saying "How does it matter? It brought back some beautiful memories to me."

Like I said, Do listen to the song.

Cloudy Tuesday, Sunshine Wednesday :) Yay Yay!

Monsoons in Hyderabad, Finally!
Heavy rains lashed the city for almost two days and two nights followed by a cloudy Tuesday.
And today it was back to bright and shiny- Sunshine!

Umm.. I love sunshine but I love the rains as well.
Can we please have a lil bit more of dark, cloudy, (for some gloomy) sleepy mornings?

Suddenly the scene has changed from everyone cribbing that there are no rains to Oh! My These Rains!! Hmmpff... I am wondering what exactly is happening to this world? Almost always finding ways to crib about something or the other. I can hear them say "Oh! I cant believe the clouds gave away to the sun so easy!"

Really.. People!!?!!

Moving on, I Saw this movie called 'Into The Wild.' An awesome movie I say!
Quoting a line that repeats in my head from watching it. "Happiness is only real, when shared."

The Singing Butler is a final toast to my mood.
Persistently Optimistic.

Awim-a-wep | Awim-a-wep |

Oh! HowI love this song. I can go loony watching the hippo sing Oprah while the doggie does the jig.And unlike people who hate to make a fool of themselves in a crowd, or someplace, I very much like the experience of forgetting who will think what, where, and how.

Somewhere in between, I had become too shallow, for my own standards. What happened to the simple joys of having the freedom to watch what you want without any inhibition, what about the freedom to work at your own convinience? what about the freedom to approach anyone (ahem, I mean anyone!) and share a joke? or just smile...
Thankfully,I have come out of that shell now. All that is in the past, a point in the past. Now, my history.

The credit goes to 'The Freaks' who, given a chance would just love to sing the loony song. And then Google, for nurturing this loony side of me by placing loonier people around, and not pushing me to become a 'hot shot corporat'ishly dressed skinny woman :)

A workshop called 'Be Google' was conducted for us (one of the most open platforms for exchange of ideas and the Googliness I see around.) What I like d the most about the workshop was this feeling that remained from the beginning until the end - I am Google.

When the workshop came towards its end, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of how I am caught up with my own fears, my work load and the daily drowning drudgery of living due to which I have ceased to realize what a wonderful world it is.

Google is wonderful indeed. The culture we have, the culture we imbibe, and share and pass on. The facilities I get to use, The people I get to meet, mingle, and make friends with. Bonding. My team So happy and cheerful. Very rarely can you get a combination of all of this (I guess you never do.) And the freedom.

So, I am not going to be a cribbing goddess anymore. There is much more to Google, and being a Googler than what I saw and felt in the past. There is so much more to my world. Although, I do miss the walks in the cloudy monsoon. And of course, the outside world! My priorities have not changed. Yet, suddenly i want to love everything around me. Appreciate it for all that its worth.

The passion and the compassion that each person has for the other is a wonderful feeling. This time, this feeling i would love to remember, I want it to last. Like a love affair, I rather remember the heated, light hearted romantic moments shared than the sad, and depressing times I seem to focus a lot of my energies on.

I may be anywhere in the world. I will remain a Googler at heart, wanting to carry on forward this culture, the tradition, the innovation, the freedom, and the open and friendly ways to a next level. A new height and a whole new beginning.

I am once more falling in love with you - Google

So... I love the spider!

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and
The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.

I have always been inquisitive about this creepy, quick as a wink, eight legged creature that walks on the walls, jumps between two pillars and post, and I find it slier than a cat.

When i was young, what surprised me the most was to discover intricately woven web in all the cracks and crevices of my hiding places, each time I crawled into one. The spider was always there, much before me. The various cupboards that were dark and dingy, or if you scrap the bark of a tree, between the leg of a chair, or even the roof of the dining table.

Then, most of my reaction involved staring at the web and this eight legged arachnid's and slowly seeing my mind web a horror story of the spider jumping on me. Remember the lil miss muffet story? And lo! that was all it took for me to pop out of my hiding, thoroughly shaken and scared. Deciding to never to go into that dark and scary place again.

Since then, my relation ship with the spider has only grown. From shitting on the pot for stretched hours, watching it walk on the wall -horizontally upwards towards its prey. To finding webs each having its intricate homey feel. Sometimes, feeling lucky to see its prey caught in between. No. I am not a heartless person. Yet, I confess that I was too involved with my spider to give its pray more than a seconds attention in counting.

When watching was not satisfying enough, I started touching them, squishing them between my fingers to see the whitish liquid ooze out. Silently watching it twitch it's legs until it bit me on my finger as I saw it die. Ummm blame it on a child's curiosity ?!

To conclude, yeah, in one sentence I am inquisitive and mildly attracted to spiders.

So, when I remembered this song from my past I was compelled to sing it aloud. Made both my cube'es dread my singing at first, and then inspired them to sing along. And now, I am sure my memories with the spider will be etched in both their life history forever. Oh! not to forget how I tortured Vamsi, who was doomed to hear my hysterical cry (read: the song ) in all its glory.

Do sing along. :)

Into the sky.

Spent the whole evening watching,
a cloud churn out shapes for me
From the scary wolf of the red riding hood,
to the old wise man from the sea.

It was all cool and dark this night,
bleak, distant stars twinkling in the sky
The wind was blowing high up,
while down here, the breeze gave me company.

Finest summer spent with thee,
drawing figures with fingers
Etching out shapes from within
on the stark black infinity.

Fighting fears with dolphins
and the monsters hidden underneath,
or watching the dog chase the bee
all within this cloudy glee

So I gazed on and on for long
as the wind sang its own sweet song
until the world beneath me vanished
leaving the night sky to call on.

Thats when world came
to a sudden halt; screeching
to a stand still, not a summersault
stilling the time in my memory

The night wore on in eternity,
long after the morning came
and a reckless sense happiness
stayed on within me.


:) sky gazing - I love it endlessly.

The Hug for 'Life'

Among numerous historical events which I have followed keenly, thanks to the history lessons that went on until I finished my high school or even the articles in newspapers. There are several that come to my mind – glazing my memory with pictures in black and white. These incident have had an impact on my mind and my picture of the era gone by. Still there are few events i count on my fingers, which has shaped me and my personality.

Pages of my history textbook suddenly pop out of nowhere, is it the Harappan and Mohenjodaro’s astonishing planned city’s that stands out? or the treasures of Akbars empire and the wisdom of Ashoka that takes priority? I can picture Queen Elizabeth adorned in jewels in all her glory in a huge hall with chandeliers, and I see Nehru addressing millions with the flag hoisted flying high. The war of the worlds, the Irish potato famine or even the renaissance.

One event stood out on its own, making a mark on my adolescent mind. Past was past but future was in my hands was what i had been hearing from my teachers, peers, parents. This incident surely made me believe that I could make a difference too. It started with the ‘Bishnoi’ tribe of Rajasthan who live in symbiosis with the nature. The people of the tribe protect the animals and the trees with their lives and consider them sacred. The ‘Chipko’ movement denotes the beginning of a revolution that started really slow but caught up like fire with the masses.

‘Chipko’ in Hindi means - to stick to/with. This is exactly what the people of the tribe did when they realized that slowly but surely the trees that inhibited some parts of Rajasthan. Their numbers were dwindling as they were regularly cut, and chopped down by various poachers, in turn affecting the Fauna of the place. Some of them went and hugged the tree and refused to let go of them until the tree was left without being chopped for timber.

As the story goes, this movement caught on like wild fire, Baba Amte who brought the movement into the limelight became the leader and the speaker of this movement. He now lives in ‘Anandvan’ with various trees, animals and tribes in his backyard, nesting several birds and animals and working on various projects that give them employment.

As the environment is gradually going through a shift, the cycles changing, the heat increasing and the ice melting. I realize the importance of nurturing what we have, of holding onto ‘life’ through the green branches and the brown barks… feeling the breeze on my skin, and breathing in the fresh air when standing in the shade of these silent watchers. I feel like holding onto one – for life.

Money in Plastic.

Papier, no longer remains the way..
I buy myself a coffee each day.
No stack of greens or browns you will see
When, my wallet is giving me company.

Swipe it, strike it… its scratch proof I believe.
Bend it low or drown in the snow…
Heart to break... oh! What heartache
To do or not to … is a question within me

You’ll know as you go…
It’s only scissors and the knife that can listen to thy plight
No fire, no ice... it’s resistant - make it twice.
Its solid and strong…will live long

While we walk on… amidst the busy throng
It is this plastic piece that pulls us out of the daily drudgery
Be it a debt, loan or mortgage
A dress, a party or even a birthday cake

The grocery, a vacation or buying a company
Travel, rewards, flowing money
Tickets and bills, shopping that kills…
Almost everything with its added frills

It’s all a clean swipe of hand..
The magic wand.
Numbers and figures and solidified paper
Poor or rich they are ready to cater…

All you need is a bank account
And a conscious that lets you ‘hang it around’
It’s only when the postman comes knocking down
Oh! Just try making no sound…

Try hiding behind the sofa or the ‘maintained glee’
You will realize it’s not for eternity.
The envelope is as scary as it can be
With only some details…you might see

Your name at the top and the amount beneath
It’s all in the past, yes, the history of the month that last.
For the creditors its credit
And the unlucky wise its debit…

For me its guilt, and guilt I believe
Is sad for your soul and the spirited me
Paper they say… is the thing of the past.
Makes me wonder how long it might last

It’s not a rhyme it’s the story of my time
Are you listening? Or still under a wishing tree?

Transitioned Evolution

Today, while I was sitting on my comp, ready to start my day, I looked around me and saw how much of a transition has happened to me. A month ago, I hated it. All I could think of was, "this is horrible, I don't belong here." Today, its certainly different. I am more positive. Instead of seeing it as a change. I am seeing it as a 'transition' that comes when settings and situations change around you. I suddenly realized that this was really the perfect thing that could have happened.

Then I was not able to see myself work in a corporate, cause then I hadnt pictured myself in such an environment. Today, I understand its just the perception of your mind. How flexible are you towards yourself. The things I want to do... still remain my piorities. I must make a route map. See how I can steer my way to the route I had planned.

This is what I have to do. This is what I must do. For now, I am living in the moment. Thinking that I am making the most of this situation while it lasts. Here are a few words I had scribbled a little while ago. Now that I read it... It sounds bland. Still putting it up for records.

Evolution; life evolves, from a mere parasite to humongous dinosaurs, from dinosaurs to mammals that could walk the greatest expanse of the earth and birds that could fly across the highest mountains, to man. But did it stop there? No…
After man.. It was machines; just small inventions marked the beginning of a new evolution- a Revolution. Is it the genius of the nature or the genius of psychological want of man to work towards a better a more convenient living? To improve the various methods and facilities around him for a more comfort that could simultaneously cater and suffice all his needs.
Technology did not begin with the invention of the telephone, or the aeroplane, or the light bulb, or even the computer. It began with the basics of ‘wants and needs’. The mercantile needs of Man made him cross oceans and seas.

Fast forward to a time when almost every one is connected to anyone, any where in the world.. The pace of life is fast and revolves around convenience, comfort, security.
Internet has made it possible. Markets have expanded not just in terms of geography; it even caters to people’s need for more variety. All this, just by a click of a mouse and a combination of a few numbers!

It doesn’t stop here, evolution continues as requirements develop.. And commerce is the key to measure the evolutionary growth. Yesterday a computer, today a blackberry.. Tomorrow…? The growth is constant, the change is too… beyond ones imagination and ahead of us through centuries…

What we can do.? Shop till we drop because come what may… today is just another day.

Thats It For Now Folks!

The art of listening.

If I have to choose one thing I have acquired from the time I was a child, it would be the art of listening. I remember distinctly the glow on my face every time I succeeded to convince my grandma to narrate a bedtime story.

It was a mutual agreement religiously put to use every summer until I turned ten. She would tell me one story every night that would put me to sleep, dreams filled my mind with visions conjured up with the help of her lively and vivid narratives. I would ardently listen to every word said, nodding my head to indicate my attention. This was the time when my dreams turned vivid.

I realize the importance of listening. How does a baby learn to talk? How do people learn languages? Why it is called an art? Why so much importance is given to it? Listening is not an act, it is also one of the five senses that we have. Listening leads to learning.

In today’s fast paced world where a person has to skim and dip through their lives just to be able to keep a pace with it. It is highly important to stand for a while and give yourself time to understand what exactly you want and how you want it to be communicated.

Listening is a very important part of the process of communication, interaction and action, all of it can cease to exist if the concept of listening is ignored. It is how the cycle of communication completes. Without exchange of ideas, thoughts and data it becomes redundant.

To grow as an individual it is very important to learn to listen as to effectively communicate to the people around you. An organization grows only if interaction between its employees is clear, when the communication is timely and effective and the feedback is prompt and efficient and thats where importance of listening comes into picture.